In today’s society, our lives can often feel like a sprint—rushing from one appointment to another, tuning into Zoom meetings in the car, or juggling screens during family meals. When we are constantly shifting our attention from one priority to another, it can be easy to rush through our days, often overlooking the powerful learning that happens when children move—and learn—at their own rhythm.
In the Montessori environment, supporting independence isn’t just a nice idea—it’s foundational to their success with the curriculum. The American Montessori Society highlights that Montessori education nurtures concentration, confidence, and independence from an early age. Our classrooms are thoughtfully prepared so children can self-select work, complete tasks with focus, and build meaningful independence through daily routines like getting dressed, preparing snacks, or caring for classroom materials.
As Montessori teachers, we are trained to offer “just enough help” to support independence by giving children just the right amount of guidance or support to reach the next step. This approach cultivates a sense of agency that's essential for learning and growing.
Here’s how you can support independence at home:
Slow down the morning routine: Allow extra time so your child can start the day putting on their clothes, socks, and shoes by themselves. This may feel slower, but it is an essential pre-requisite skill required of children in the Primary classroom. For older children, support them in becoming responsible to make sure they have everything they need for their school day (i.e. their lunchbox, water bottle, etc.). Self-reliance builds confidence.
Encourage problem-solving: When your child asks for help, instead of automatically stepping in, invite your child to think first: “I would like to see you try finding it yourself before I help.” This shift builds critical thinking and perseverance.
Set gentle waiting boundaries: Help teach patience and respect for sharing adult attention. For example, if you're on a call, in a meeting, or in the middle of a conversation, model a healthy waiting boundary by saying, “Please give me five minutes, and I’ll come help you.”
Notice—and celebrate—the small wins: Whether they button their coat independently or pour their own water, point it out with warmth: “You did that all by yourself—that's wonderful!” These affirmations empower them to keep trying.
As parents, we know that sense of being relied on or needed by our child can feel loving; however, fulfilling those adult needs doesn’t serve the child’s development. Our true role is to help them step into their own capabilities. When children feel successful and supported in their independence, they become confident, self-directed learners—a gift that lasts a lifetime.